10 life lessons I got from running
When the student is ready, the teacher appears. Teachers come in many forms. You just have to recognize them and embrace their teachings – the good, the bad, and the ugly.
One day, my inner voice encouraged me to start running. I was shocked. My brain was totally at odds with this idea. Just running to catch the bus would leave me gasping for air. My legs felt like jelly, and my heart would race madly.
Well, you need to start walking before you can learn to run. I was barely walking. I got used to taking the bus. Then, the transit company moved my bus stop due to construction. I had to walk a little further to catch the bus and walk home. That was enough to get me started. I started to get further away from my stop until I could walk to work and back – about a 6 km trek. I also started to eat mindfully – eating more veggies, looking at food labels, cooking my own meals, and setting SMART goals. It was all about starting a habit, sticking with it, being accountable, tweaking the plan as I progressed, and building upon well-established practices.
I started to invest in myself. I began to fall in love – with myself.
My first official run was the Britannia Beach 3 km race in 2015. It was a beautiful day – clear skies, sun beaming, and the Ottawa River - the crown jewel was shining like a magnificent blue sapphire. The goal was to simply finish the race. My plan was to do 3 and 1s. You run for 3 minutes and walk for 1 minute. I crossed the finish line at 28:50.
Since then, I have run numerous 5km, 10km, and a couple of half-marathons. I ran in Ottawa, Toronto, Montreal, Wolfville, Charlottetown, Moncton, and Niagara Falls. My first international run was in Reykjavik. I ran alongside world leaders, military, and folks running to pay tribute to a loved one or supporting a cause dear to them.
Here are 10 life lessons I learned from running that I would like to share with you:
Identify what matters most to you. In races, there’s a difference between gun time and chip time. With gun time, the timer starts once the gun or other signal is sounded. Your time starts irrespective of when you crossed the start line. So, if it takes you 5 minutes to cross the start line because you’re in a slower corral, that’s part of your finish time. As the underdog, you need to fight your way to the top. That would be incredibly frustrating! People would not necessarily see your potential and strengths, given the circumstances.
With chip time, the timer doesn’t start until you cross the start line. The race organizers adjust the finish times to reflect the delay in crossing the start line. That means no one gets penalized for starting in a slower corral.
The belief that everyone should get a chance to achieve their goals got me into teaching, organizational training, and corporate development. I believe everyone can lead given the opportunity.
We’re given 86,400 seconds to make the most of each day. What is your mission in life, core values, passion, and talents? What opportunities are you not taking advantage of and why? What’s holding you back? What assumptions do you have of yourself, the world, and others?
We have choices. And we’re empowered to choose our path and make decisions when we identify the things that mean the most to us.
Live without expectations and lose perfectionism. Every run and race is a different beast with its own triumphs and challenges. You never know what hills you’ll have to climb and overcome like life. I learned that the hard way while running a half-marathon in Charlottetown. I was greeted by flat surfaces to begin the race, but the last part was extremely challenging. Three big killer hills separated me from the coveted finish line. It took me over 3 hours to finish. After the run, I was grateful for the chocolate milk, banana, and the Epson salt bath.
You don’t need to be perfect. It doesn’t matter how fast you run or how far you go. Being a perfectionist prevents you from discovering and living your potential. I like to say that I suffered greatly from the 3Ps – the performing, pleasing and proving syndromes.
Ask yourself where this perfectionism comes from? You’ve been taught to value what other people want you to be over what you want to feel, think, and do. You constantly live in fear of being judged and criticized. I had to move beyond my self-limiting beliefs and fears about not being good enough and other people’s expectations. I told my inner critic to take a hike!
Growth happens when you stretch beyond your comfort zone, accept uncertainty and learn from the missteps you make along the way. You build strength, resilience, confidence, and self-esteem. Believe and trust yourself. You will not know unless you try. Try the following 3Ps instead - discover your potential, live with purpose, cultivate your inner peace.
Change is the only constant. To survive and thrive is to learn and adapt. To be alive is to be vulnerable. You need to adapt to any eventuality on race day. Your body could act up and throw a tantrum, your mind could mess with you, the weather could change on a dime, and of course, you’re dealing with the changing terrain. You have to listen, see and feel your way through the finish line.
The same thing goes for life. Life can kick you in the face real hard. Setbacks are inevitable. Life happens no matter how hard you prepare and train. Whether running or dealing with the ebbs and flows of life, maintain a steady pace, keep moving – one step at a time, and be consistent. In the long run, bursts of extreme effort won’t pay off as much as being consistent. Sometimes the most critical steps in life are the ones we struggle to take. Change brings opportunities.
Run your own race. A flower doesn’t think of competing with the other flowers – it just blooms. It can be easy to get caught up in what other people are doing. Let’s face it, runners can be quite the competitive bunch. We aim for PBs (personal bests) and like to win. Maybe your competition jumped out of the gate faster than you did, and you’re tempted to keep up. You planned to do 10 minutes of running and 1 minute of walking, but everyone else is going full throttle. You’re starting to second guess yourself and wonder what you should do.
We do the same in life. It might be tempting to compare yourself to others and doubt your own path. If you sprint, you’ll strive but will never arrive. How exhausting! We all have different timelines, goals, and measures of success. You might be at the back of the pack during part of the race but pass fellow runners who went out too fast and burned out like a shooting star. You never ended up in the front, but that wasn’t you’re goal, to begin with – you just wanted to finish. Life is a marathon, not a sprint. Own your pace, follow your path, and discover what makes you bloom.
Learn to let go, surrender and accept what is. Letting go and surrendering does not mean giving up. It is about living in the present and taking what is. As runners, we can focus too much on winning that bling and getting a personal best. We ignore the alarming cries from our bodies. I kissed the ground a few times out of sheer exhaustion. The signs appeared before gravity did its work, but I decided to push through. I didn’t sustain significant injuries. I was lucky. Sadly, other runners never get up to run another race.
Listen to your body – heart, mind, and gut – it’s the winning trifecta. Learn what you can control and let go of what you can’t. Knowing when to push through or when to surrender is wisdom.
Let go of the need for certainty.
Let go of what people think of you. What they think of you is none of your business.
Celebrate and support each other. As Barbara Streisand said – people need people. That can be hard to believe when we hear how people can be cruel to other living beings.
During intense experiences, you can learn a lot about a person quickly. They also teach you about yourself. My fellow runners aren’t my competition but my mentors and greatest cheerleaders. After our runs, we would meet at the coffee shop to chat, laugh, and learn from each other. When I fell during a training run, my peeps had my back.
I also met the kindest people on races – the best of humanity. People used super soakers to cool us down during a humid and hot 10 km race at the Ottawa Race Weekend. An elderly couple cheered us on in Niagara Falls. They didn’t let a cool and damp day in late October stop them. Watermelon never tasted as good as it did on my race in Reykjavik – a generous gift from a volunteer working at the water station. I was brought to tears when a fellow runner on a race told me I was inspiring her – I was her unofficial pace bunny. By doing my own thing, I was inspiring others.
When you’re ending a race and living off your last energy gummy or sports drink, random strangers cheer you on, and kids give you high fives. I can’t tell you how much it means to me. I get my second wind and an extra spring in my step.
The absence of love, belonging, and connection can lead to great suffering. I have felt so much connection, belonging, and love during runs and races.
Find out what makes you feel loved, discover where you belong, and connect with the world.
Provide encouragement and support. Life is full of missteps, misgivings, and losses. Take time to celebrate your victories and those of others.
Don’t be too quick to judge. Appearances can be deceiving. I saw the perfect pair of running pants for my 10 km St. Patrick’s Day run. They were emerald green and had intricate designs. I was swept off my feet – I needed to buy them, and I did. I looked fantastic at the start of the race. That feeling quickly faded after the gun went off. I was running and felt my pants going down. Gravity was working against me - again. The more I thought about the pants, the faster they seemed to inch downward. I would tug and try to pull them up as I was running. It was a pitiful sight – a five-foot woman in green leotards pulling and tugging as she was doing her best to run. Yep, I became a leprechaun – quite like the movie, it was a horror show. I think the real leprechauns would have fired me on the spot. By far, it was the worse race I ever ran. There was no pot of gold at the end of the rainbow or finish line. My reward - unrelenting lower back pain for about a week. I never wore those pants again.
The sizzle can fizzle out quickly. Be practical and gradually grow any kind of relationship, including the one you have with your pants, to see how things go. Be prepared to move on if need be.
Set SMART goals. Be mindful, intentional, and clear about what you want. Set your goals with purpose. SMART goals are: specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and timely. Write down the reason(s) why you want to achieve a particular goal. When things get tough, you’ll be able to fall back on your why. Your why will motivate you to persevere.
Think about the steps or actions you need to accomplish your goal. What do you need to do? Set priorities and focus on the activities that matter most. Who do you need to involve? What resources do you need? How will you get them?
Plan for obstacles that could get you off track and develop strategies to overcome them. Don’t swim against the current or walk against the wind. Pick your battles, and don’t be swayed by shiny objects. As runners, we learn how to run up and down hills to minimize energy and reduce the risk of injury. We find ways to take obstacles off our path. Life is hard enough. Why make it more difficult.
Half of the battle is in your head. You know that voice telling you it’s too dark, too cold, too early, too late, too young, too old, not thin enough, smart enough, and pretty. Yes, that voice of a trickster sounds so logical at the time. It would tell me to stay in bed where it’s nice and warm or wait before I had more time or money to do something. It would also stop me from trying something new or not speak up as to not rock the boat.
What are the self-limiting beliefs or barriers holding you back? What thoughts and beliefs are holding you, prisoner?
You want to run that hill but don’t think you can? Change your thoughts.
Do you want to change your relationship with yourself and others? Change your thoughts.
Change your job? Your eating habits? Change your thoughts.
Change your life? Change your thoughts.
Remove the obstacles that keep you from learning. Keep your ego in check. We like to feel grounded, feel a degree of certainty, and be right. To live in a state of imbalance or in a constant fight-or-flight negatively impacts our health. However, not all running surfaces will be smooth. Life can throw us curveballs, and there are many unknowns. Sometimes the horizon hides the biggest challenge of our lives. When under stress, we do not think of all the options and solutions to solve a problem or see opportunities. Our body is busy doing other things to keep us safe from threats. Be prepared for unexpected bumps in the road and detours.
Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Your goals matter! We protect ourselves from the discomfort of vulnerability. For most of my life, I protected myself. My armour made me feel stronger. But dragging the extra weight – physically and emotionally was quite the burden to carry.
How will you choose to define yourself?
What changes do you need to make to live your best life?
How will you treat your body?
How will you treat others?
Feed your body, mind, and spirit. Feed your body. Fuel your mind and spirit. You need enough energy to cross the finish line. Be mindful of what you put into your body and in your mind. Feel how this affects your spirit.
Nutrition: Your nutritional choices change how you think and perform. Hydrate often with water. We have a hydration schedule to ensure we don’t become severely dehydrated as runners. When you realize you need to drink, it is often too late. Severe dehydration can lead to death. We also eat food that nourish our bodies. Notice how your body feels when you eat certain foods. Some foods may not be your friends, and you’ll need to drop them and find healthier substitutes.
Breathing: We breathe to send oxygen into our cells to fuel them and eliminate the body’s waste products and toxins. Your life force comes from your breath. As a runner, I constantly monitor my breath. Running can be stressful, especially if you’re running at a moderate or high intensity. Always being on the run or on the go will leave you breathless and gasping.
You need to rest and digest. Rhythmic breathing calms the nervous system down. It focuses on diaphragmatic, deep, or belly breathing. Through rhythmic breathing, we breathe fully.
Is your breath shallow and quick? Are you breathing mainly from your nose or your mouth? Does your breath stop in your chest, or does it reach your belly? Do you feel calm, anxious, angry, or scared? Your awareness of how you’re breathing links mind and body. Slowing your breath can help you slow down – both physically and mentally.
Rest and recovery: Recovery days are as important as active ones. I’m like a formula 1 race car. Green means go! The biggest challenge I had to overcome was to slow down. After long-distance runs, I need time for my body and mind to recover. Knowing when to step back and rest is essential to prevent injuries. The same applies in life. We are constantly in a state of busyness. Being busy keeps us distracted from focusing on our needs or tuning into our bodies. It can also be a way to avoid or numb painful feelings and situations.
Sleep: Sleep is essential. It rebuilds and recharges your body. When you’re sleeping, your immune system is most active and repairs what it needs to while your brain recharges. Practice good sleep hygiene:
Create a bedtime routine. Let your body know that it’s time to sleep. Go to bed and wake up at the same time every day. Your routine could include meditation, deep breathing, a warm bath with Epson salts.
Remove electronics from your bedroom.
Make your bedroom dark.
Eliminate caffeine and alcohol.
Exercise daily in the great outdoors.
Avoid any activity that could stimulate your brain, like watching TV or reading a thriller before going to bed.
Energy: Surround yourself with people who will support your growth. In science, energy is the ability to do work. Potential energy is stationary or stored energy. I like to refer to it as energy in waiting. Kinetic energy is energy in motion. Moving from one form of energy to another happens when a catalyst comes on the scene, and a tipping point is reached. Energy can neither be created nor destroyed, but it can be transformed.
Who are your greatest cheerleaders? Who are the change catalysts that motivate and inspire you?
Unfortunately, there are people in your life that will never acknowledge your worth. No matter what you do, it will never be good enough. When I crossed the finish line for the first time in a race, I knew I was good enough. Criticisms to control me lost their power.
If you treat yourself well, every cell in your body will rejoice and do a happy dance.
Stand tall and lead with your heart. Proper running posture is essential. You need to keep your head up, shoulders back, and chest proud. Your arms are pumping front to back to propel you forward. Your heart keeps everything running. As in life, your heart will lead you into things, leading you out. When you can’t give anymore, your legs are giving up, your mind is mush, your courageous heart will bring you home.
In summary:
Races like life will test you. They will push you to your physical, mental, and emotional limits.
No matter how many runs and races you do, you’ll always learn something new in your next one. Be humble and be grateful that there is always more to learn.
Running has taught me to make myself a priority, listen to myself, appreciate myself, care for myself, trust myself, and love myself.
Enjoy the journey and lead from the heart. Joy is found not in a space or place but in a moment.
I was looking forward to training for my next half marathon and was making plans back in March 2020. Unfortunately, life would sucker punch us with the coming of a new coronavirus. All my previous work was not wasted. I put into practice what I had learned in my last runs and races. Perhaps, unbeknown to me, I wasn’t just training for a run or race but tackling one of my biggest life challenges.
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